Some of us get into relationships where we are destroying each other because we ignore the initial warning signs that the person we are attracted to is an emotional train wreck or a time bomb.

Too often we indulge in physical, mental, or sexual attraction only to end up heartbroken, angry, bitter, vindictive, or stuck on an emotional roller coaster.

These five warning signs will help you know early on if he / she is an emotional train wreck or a time bomb:

1. Has shallow emotions: is quick to share too much early in the relationship or says “I love you” or wants to marry or commit to you. Usually in less than a few weeks of dating, you will hear that you are the love of his life, that he wants to be with you forever, and that he wants to marry you. You’ll be showered with instant attraction, endearing names, and overwhelmed with attention and promise. Remember the old saying “If it’s too good to be true, it probably is (too good to be true).” Quick warm-up is always a sign of shallow emotions that then cause her to separate from you as quickly as she committed.

2. Cannot handle emotions – He / she is easily emotionally overwhelmed and holds a grudge, clings to bitterness, cannot handle frustration, criticism or rejection. On first dates, you will often hear stories of what others did or did to you and how “wicked” the world is, and so on. But these stories quickly turn into what you are doing or not doing that is hurting him emotionally. The relationship becomes one of blaming, accusing, arguing, explaining, defending yourself, trying to convince him to feel different about this or that, etc. You feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells

3. Does not show emotions: does not get emotionally involved, is not emotionally expressive (for example, finds it difficult to get excited about things) and does not sympathize with the pain of other people. Put coldly, he / she is emotionally soft and cold. From the first date, he will play with your emotions: he is late, he promises to call you but does not, he agrees to meet and “forgets” to call you to cancel, “forgets” things that are important to you, and so on. Most of the time you feel unsure of where he is in regards to his feelings for you. He / she, when confronted, may admit that he / she doesn’t really have any feelings for you, and does so very coldly.

4. Prone to emotional outbursts (short fuse) – He / she blows easily – yells or is rude to a waiter / waitress, customer service people, other drivers and even perfect strangers or does dangerous things like driving too fast because he / is angry, breaks / throws things, gets into fights, threatens others, etc. He / she is clearly letting you know that he / she has that ability and ability, and that it could come your way. There will come a time when he / she will have no one to let his temper out and you will be the obviously soft and easy target. And it’s not just men. Women may not necessarily be physical with her temperament, but every sentence she says and the many lies she can make up are just as hurtful.

5. Use emotions to manipulate – He / she creates situations in which he / she becomes the center of attention – everything is exaggerated and distorted to dramatic proportions. This playing the victim as being persecuted by others (“I am a very misunderstood person”); feigning or exaggerating illness or causing or inviting injury (for example, he / she presents with bruises and cuts and expects you to feel bad for him / her and even deal with the injury), etc. You find yourself spending all your time trying to make him / her feel good about himself. The more attention you give it, the more schemes it can come up with. It’s like trying to fill a bottomless pit!

Take a few words of wisdom from someone who has been there: If it doesn’t fit, don’t force it.

If you are emotionally healthy yourself, your emotions are your sources of energy for making good decisions, reading and effectively managing other people’s feelings, optimizing your ability to have healthy relationships, enjoy work, and enjoy life.

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