Breakups don’t just happen in marriages that lost their way. Breakups also occur in all other types of relationships, which have some kind of pact (usually unwritten), such as the unspoken, “Never make a mistake, please,” “Or tell me about everything that unites us, or what you will. hurt me. “
Unfortunately, relationship breakups happen all the time, because one or both parties have been hurt once too often. What is focused here are the relationships in which we are faced with another person at the end of life: for friendship, for business, etc.
I will say it in advance. What we most need to be armed with, for the extension of health in all our relationships, is the domain of the not so common APOLOGY. I say that the apology is not that common because while we could get involved in apologizing, for many reasons, they do not meet the mark.
WHEN THE APOLOGY MEETS THE BRAND
First of all, let me say that I draw on the fantastic work of Dr. Gary Chapman.
Secondly, I want to describe very briefly what the five languages of apology are, and then thirdly, I want to wrap them all in an apology process, which we can consider to be the real hinge of relationship maintenance.
The five languages of apology are:
1. Express regret: “I’m sorry” – when we speak this language there is a real sense of regret. “I’m sorry” is sincere and sincere. Some people speak this language with conviction, and for some, it is all they need to hear.
2. Accepting responsibility: “You know, I was wrong” – not only are there the words, but accepting responsibility takes the apology process somewhat deeper into the land of diligence and acknowledgment of guilt.
3. Make restitution: “Now, recognizing that, what can I do to correct it?” – remorse has condemned a sense of responsibility, which in turn has condemned a sense of wanting to change things to appease the person or situation. Making restitution is a powerful commitment to acknowledge the apology of many people. Sometimes restitution can be so effective that it leads directly to restoration.
4. Real and genuine regret: “I will do my best to never do that again!” Ah, the offer of security and the opportunity to trust. The person who promises repentance knows that he is on the move and in prayer. They walk lightly, having been convinced by the Spirit in them to take a different step from now on.
5. The request for forgiveness: “Could you forgive me?” – So many apologies do not reach this level of seeking forgiveness from the injured parties. Think of the blazing power in someone who hurt us by being vulnerable in this way, when it is genuine.
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The apology is the hinge of maintaining the relationship. What’s more convincing than this: “I’m sorry. You know, I was wrong. Now, with that acknowledged, what can I do to correct it? I’ll do my best to never do that again, I can assure you! Could you forgive me? Please? “Think of the power of reconciliation and restoration in these words when backed up with action.
© 2013 SJ Wickham.