Why is it that even though your potential customer may seem eager to do business with you when they first meet you, does their interest seem to wane when they start talking to you?
I have always believed that “business is personal”. A successful business relationship is about building a bridge of trust between you and your potential customer.
Your potential client wants to trust you, but how can they trust you if you don’t trust yourself?
I think this is a major problem with many individual entrepreneurs: deep down, they don’t believe they “deserve” the prospect’s business. Undeserved is a corrosive energy that becomes apparent to people who get to know you.
This was a big problem for me when I started my technology consulting business in the mid-1990s. I had all the technical knowledge, but I felt completely alone, without support, without support, and unsure why I was in business in the first place. It took me to sink this first business to the tune of over a hundred thousand dollars before I realized the need to strengthen my own feelings of worthiness and, from there, develop the confidence in myself to take bold action.
Here are five strategies that I consistently use to flex my deserving muscle:
1. Return at three “W”.
Business is personal, people want to connect with the real you. Go back to basics, clear up your three “Ws”:
– “Who I am?” (your personal mission),
– “What do I want?” (your personal vision),
– “Why is this important to me now?” (your personal motivation).
Although I had read many books on personal development, it was only when I focused on creating a one-sentence answer (ten words or less) to each question that I developed more confidence in my company. The clarity I gained from these responses gave me the energy to meet new people, attract more clients, improve my business, and increase my income. The lesson I learned is that clarity about who you are and what you want is vital to developing your feelings of worthiness.
2. Create an environment that supports your three “Ws”.
Dignity thrives in a healthy environment. Clean, lighten and ventilate your living space, even if it means renovating or moving. Eat right and exercise vigorously, even if it means changing your lifestyle. Get rid of whatever you are putting up with, even if it means breaking “commitments” that no longer work for you. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and emphasize your strengths, even if it means letting go of certain “friends.” Let go of anything that reminds you of what you don’t want and embrace anything that reinforces your Three “Ws,” even if it means completely changing the way you live your life. Your environment strengthens your feelings of worthiness.
3. Ship the “monkey mind” packaging.
The monkey mind is that constant chatter of self-loathing that saps your confidence and energy. You can recognize the monkey mind whenever you have a thought that makes you doubt or hesitate. Find a way to interrupt these thoughts as they occur. One of my favorite strategies is to wear an elastic band around the wrist. Every time you hear the chatter of a monkey’s mind, break the elastic and say to yourself STOP! Then repeat to yourself, clearly and consciously, your one-sentence responses to the Three “W’s”: “Who am I?” “What do I want?” “Why is this important now?” You will find that over time these three phrases will evolve into an empowering mantra that shifts the monkey mind and reinforces your feelings of worthiness.
4. Breaking habits and cultivating rituals.
Habits are unconscious actions that serve to calm a fear. Rituals are conscious, automated actions that build toward a desired positive state. Habits are easy to identify – they will appear whenever the monkey mind is at work. Pick a negative habit that you want to kick this month and replace it with a mindful ritual. Write down the symptoms of the negative habit and when you recognize them, put that rubber band around your wrist and immediately switch to the conscious action that you want to be automatic. Connect with a coach who can help you design conscious, positive actions that will create the results you want, and your muscle of deserving will quickly get stronger.
5. Pretend until you get it.
Hey? What this often misused adage really means is moving forward with deep faith in your worthiness. Faith is about believing without necessarily fully understanding how you are going to get there. Act “like” you have confidence in yourself. Ask yourself, “If you were ten times more daring, what action would you take right now?” Pretend you’re ten times bolder and take the plunge. Use your positive thinking and mindful, positive rituals to help you focus on your positive results. Over time, you will discover that you will develop a boldness that will accelerate your worthiness.
Before others can trust you, you must trust yourself. By bolstering your self-confidence, you strengthen your deserving muscle and provide the essential foundation for building a bridge of trust between you and your prospect.
Flex your muscle of deserving and you can push your way to create the future you really want!