It is human nature to doubt the claims of someone who has already lied or deceived you. So, the spouse who had an affair can claim that he is beyond sorry, embarrassed, embarrassed and even mortified by his behavior. But his wife can’t help but wonder why he didn’t feel any of these emotions when he was having the affair. Many people wonder how “real” these claims really are.
You might hear someone say something like, “This is what I want to know. Do cheaters really feel embarrassed or embarrassed by their behavior? This is why I’m asking. In the last two months, two of my very good friends found out their husbands were cheating. Coincidentally, my husband and I were attending a sporting event that was popular and drew a large crowd. In fact, we saw one of these men with the other woman. Instead of sneaking off and trying to hide from us (which is what i would have done) this guy literally puffed out his chest like he was proud to be seen with this much younger woman he looked at my husband like my husband should be envious this guy acted like he was ecstatic that he was with a woman young enough to be his daughter while his family was home and heartbroken.And yet the wife had told me he was begging her not to give it up. she left her as she told him how embarrassed she was. Well, he sure didn’t seem embarrassed to me. , one of my best friends is full of guilt because her old boyfriend looked her up on Facebook and she didn’t tell her husband right away. Nothing happened. She gave the boy a quick reply telling him how happily married she was. This was not cheating. And yet, my friend is very embarrassed, as if she had done something wrong. I’ve heard people on TV say that cheaters get embarrassed, but I don’t think so. It seems to me that people who don’t cheat feel embarrassed or embarrassed, while real, blatant cheaters don’t.”
I can understand why it would seem this way. And I would probably assume the same in a similar situation. In fact, I often doubted my own husband’s supposed embarrassment because I thought most of that embarrassment was happening simply because he got caught. But, once I started writing articles on this topic and started getting responses, I have to say that I heard from many people who deeply regretted cheating on their spouses and felt deep shame. Granted, I very rarely hear of the outraged cheater who feels little to no remorse, but I know there are people who feel that way. So I can’t say precisely what percentage of people who cheat feel shame.
But I sincerely believe that some do. And my theory on this is that the higher the quality of the person and the stronger his character, the more likely he is to feel shame. Because let’s be real. A cheating husband who never does the right thing, cheats on his taxes, is stingy with his emotions, and is cruel to others will not feel much shame when he cheats because this is the norm for him. It is in his character to act in a way that most of us would find distasteful.
But people who are known to be good, decent, and caring in all other areas of their lives and who make a mistake usually feel real remorse and real shame. Now, I’m not going to tell you that these good people don’t compartmentalize or try to find a justification for their behavior. If they couldn’t do this, then they may not be able to pull off their deception. I’m also not going to tell you that good people don’t try to take sides and pretend they feel like they had their reasons, even though in their hearts they know they didn’t.
But usually, when good people see the pain in their spouse’s eyes and take the time to honestly look at what they’ve done and who they’ve hurt, then yes, they are ashamed and often very ashamed. . This is just my opinion of the things I have seen and the stories I hear. But I do think there is often regret and remorse, even if it is repressed. But I also think it depends on the character of the person you’re talking about.