One thing that is very different between men and women is our need for constant contact. It’s almost one-sided. We love physical contact and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it is a wonderful and endearing quality. We crave those little things in a relationship. Like when our guy holds our hand or even when he surprises us in the middle of the day with an unexpected phone call. Those small gestures are what define a relationship.
When that relationship starts to fall apart, we still crave the same amount of contact. We get close to our exes just as much as when we were still together. As natural and compelling as it feels to do that, it’s actually detrimental. Surprisingly, mending a broken relationship has a lot more to do with making him miss you than trying to talk about your problems.
Men feel overwhelmed when they miss out on something. It’s usually harder for a man to absorb and accept those kinds of longing feelings. That is why it is so important that you create distance after the breakup. The less you are in contact with him, the more he will think of you. It is a very easy equation to remember.
In the world we live in today, contact with anyone is really just a phone call or mouse click away. When you and your boyfriend were together, you probably spent a lot of your time communicating in this way. You can text him whenever you feel the need to share something, chatting on a social networking site was convenient and easy and calling him was effortless. It’s hard to break free of that once the relationship is over. Even though all those tools are still right in front of you, it’s up to you to resist the temptation.
Taking the steps to break free can be challenging, but with a firm plan in hand, it’s much less painful and stressful. If you had a pattern where you texted him every morning or called him, you need to start by overcoming that urge. Change your morning routine immediately. Get up a little later so there is no time to consider a call. Arrange to call a friend if you feel like you need a little push to get over the urge to contact them. Take it day by day and in just a few days that habit will be broken and you will feel stronger.
As for dealing with wanting to call him the rest of the time, keep yourself very busy. Focus on other things that you have going on. A great way to deal with a breakup is to immerse yourself in a new experience. There is never a bad time to volunteer to help others. By giving yourself to people who need you, you will feel more enriched and determined. At the same time, your boyfriend will wonder where you’ve come from and with each passing day, he’ll focus more on it. It really is a win-win situation for everyone, especially you.