Conversations can be difficult to start on your first date. People often get so nervous that they are afraid to say something silly, something offensive, or are too busy thinking about something to say and end up in awkward moments of silence. The key to remember is: this person wouldn’t be sitting here to meet you for a date, if they didn’t want to see you, chat with you, and get to know you. Any type of conversation can lead to another, another, and another; so all you need is a big icebreaker and voila!
It’s often very easy to have a few pre-planned questions in your mind and start throwing them at your date one after the other. However, try to allow the conversation to flow naturally; Try not to systematically ask for too much. Your date should be fun and lighthearted, not like an interrogation or a job interview.
Rules
- Don’t make your date feel like you’re not around
Look around and talk about the food, the place, but keep this to a minimum. You need to be present on the date, do not give the impression that your mind is elsewhere or that you want to BE elsewhere!
- Don’t scare them by talking too long-term
It is best to start with light conversation. The music and movies they like is always a great topic and ask about their day or weekend. Don’t be too serious, but find your balance. Nobody wants an immature date unable to carry on a decent conversation. However, getting bogged down in minor details about your job, aspirations, siblings, and lifestyle can be quite tiresome for a first date.
- Don’t lie to impress
This is where you do I need to think long term. Lying will only surprise you later, unless it’s a little white lie that you can laugh at in the future. See what we recommend here.
- Don’t talk about controversial topics
As you might expect, talking about politics or religion is a bit of a forbidden area on a first date. It can lead to disagreements, which can lead to arguments, which could make you go home sooner than you think!
- Don’t talk about past relationships
Talking about your ex will only sink you into a big hole. Bringing up the happy memories of the past that you had with your ex will be the most ridiculous thing you can do on a first date, and speaking ill of them will make you sound bitter. In fact, either partner will give you the impression that you have not gotten over the relationship.
- Talk about their online profile
Everyone finds it easy to talk about themselves, so mention a few points that you read on your profile. This shows that you are very interested and attentive, as well as giving the conversation a good boost.
- Compliment them
A few compliments here and there never hurt anyone. If you really think your date looks attractive, tell them. It will make you feel good and it will be worth all the effort you have put in. Be careful not to be overly complimentary, though, as it may come off as fake, and don’t get sleazy either, but a compliment or two can be very charming and add a touch of flirty demeanor.
- Speak up if you have no idea what they are talking about
It is better to laugh and say if you are not sure, rather than letting them continue and not being able to answer any questions they may have regarding what they have said. You won’t look stupid if you’re honest!
- Listens
Listening to the other person is just as important as talking to them. Try not to interrupt them as it will appear rude and brusque rather than nervous.
- Laugh and tell jokes
As mentioned, it’s always good to keep things upbeat and fun. Don’t be shy to laugh or tell jokes; of course, avoid the ones that might offend you! You never know they might fall in love with your smile!
The topics you need to bring up can range from movies to family, from music to your work industry. It all depends on the moment and the location. You can’t randomly start talking about the zoo while walking into a bar. Unless of course the bar you go to is full of animals! But remember, if spontaneity and randomness is you, and it has appeared on your profile, don’t be too shy to show it! Whatever the circumstance, be YOU.
Here is an interesting quote to leave you:
“A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue.“
Truman Hood
Leaving the whole conversation with your date will be boring for them and tiring for you to keep nodding, so relax and let the conversation flow!