The pursuit of happiness is universal. It has been sought after since the beginning of time and continues to be a subject of much study and pursuit. What is happiness really? Why is it so elusive? Is there any proven method to achieve this?
Happiness is a concept that differs between cultures and individuals. Many people cannot easily define it in terms of a state of being. We normally think of moments of happiness, laughter, good times with good people, events, etc. When I refer to lasting happiness I mean the happiness of life; a general feeling that life is good; experiencing pleasure and satisfaction. This would include a real sense of well-being and a positive outlook. In addition, the commitment and enjoyment of daily life. It is not simply dizziness or moments of joy or enjoyment, although that is part of it. I think that hand in hand with this way of being is deep satisfaction. The kind of satisfaction that remains and is related to a sense of purpose and meaning, that life is worthwhile, rich and fulfilling.
Happiness is elusive for a couple of reasons: First, as I mentioned, for many it’s hard to define. Obviously, it is almost impossible to achieve something when you are not clear about what you want. Second, we have a propensity as human beings to look for things that will not provide what we are really looking for. So even if we achieve “it”, too often we are disappointed. This leads to a vicious cycle for many, constantly chasing something to “make” them happy. This is where most people end up, in unsatisfying cycles of search and disappointment or periods of happiness that just don’t last. This is largely perpetuated by social and commercial messages focused on the happiness that comes from this, from having that, or from achieving this or that. It’s hard not to believe that “it” is somewhere out of reach.
Before I share the top 8 solid tips to increase your level of happiness, I ask you to contemplate and examine your thoughts and define happiness as a broader general concept. Consider again that happiness really does come from within. It sounds cliche, but the fact is that we will find our own sense of true happiness within ourselves and fully experience it when we connect with what is unique and great within us and fully share and express it in the world. Living fully and authentically from the inside out is a sure path to lasting happiness and deep satisfaction.
Also, be open to challenging your thinking and changing your attitudes. Are some of your habits of thought and behavior frustrating your chances of feeling good about yourself and your world? Attitude adjustments and new thought patterns are often needed to make room for happiness. It really is a choice to be happy. Consciously decide how you will see things as well as being willing to incorporate habits and make room for activities that are rewarding. Sometimes, without realizing it, we choose to stay in familiar territory, even if it’s not happy, instead of making some changes.
Please note: For those with clinical depression or mental illness that adds a complex element. However, these ideas will work effectively when practiced and combined with professional intervention as needed.
The following list has tried and true methods that I have compiled from many studies, as well as my personal and professional experience. Select a few to implement and commit to incorporating them for at least a couple of weeks. I highly suggest a journal for your exploration and thoughts if you don’t currently use one and to keep track of how you’re feeling. Some ideas can have an instant impact, others are habits or practices that increase overall levels over time.
I am confident that by using several of the ideas on this list along with some honest self-exploration and attitude changes, you will gain a higher level of real and lasting happiness and deep satisfaction in your life.
True lasting happiness is not just something to obtain, it is a state of being and a lifestyle.
The eight main keys to achieve happiness:
1. Know what you want in life and go after it.
Be very clear about what is meaningful and important to you and do it. Reconnect with your hopes and dreams. Do you want to travel, grow award-winning roses, change careers, write a book, learn to salsa dance? Whatever it is for you, have a vision, make a plan and act.
2. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude.
It is impossible to be unhappy at the same time as being truly thankful and thankful for life. In studies conducted by Sonja Lyubomirsky Ph.D., it was found to be most effective to write down what you are grateful for once a week. Pick a time to spend a few minutes on this exercise and develop a routine. Also, say thank you more often when you feel like it. Being grateful to another person spreads the good feeling around.
3. Practice acts of kindness.
Science has shown that acts of kindness not only positively affect the recipient, but also the recipient and even the bystanders who witness the act. That is a happy activity of high power! In fact, acts of kindness physically increase feel-good hormones in the brain, like serotonin, to a measurable degree. Try it; be nice, offer help, do favors, surprise someone you know or a perfect stranger. Instant satisfaction can be found in this one.
4. Start moving
Implement an exercise plan or find ways to increase your physical activity on a routine basis. Multiple studies show that regular vigorous exercise can be as effective as antidepressants for some people. Join a gym, running or cycling club. Dance, take brisk walks. The key is to be quite intensive; get your blood pumping and be consistent, shoot for 45 minutes three times a week minimum.
5. Stop worrying and complaining
Ok, so this is a big deal for some of us. These two are habits and patterns that can take over our thoughts and conversations. But clearly this is an area we all need to focus on changing to allow happiness into our lives. Recording complaints as you file them will increase your awareness. To start with, keep a log on hand for a week, you’ll be surprised how often and why you complain. If worry or anxiety takes up a large part of your day, schedule time, say 30 minutes a day to reflect and then put it away, limit the time you allow for that. Practice living in the present moment.
6. Get nourished
Make taking care of yourself a priority. We all need time to recharge and reconnect. However, it often ranks last on the to-do list. Actually, your body is the vehicle of your being or soul, you wouldn’t expect to drive any other vehicle without regular refueling, maintenance and maybe a good wash and wax from time to time, right? Take care. Rest, relax, reflect. Take time for hobbies and activities that you enjoy; anything that brings you peace, joy, or pleasure on a regular basis. Make it part of your routine and lifestyle, put it on your agenda!
7. Live within your strengths and values.
Using your unique strengths makes life easier and more fulfilling. Do you know yours? What are you really good at? A great way to find out is to reflect on times when you felt better and identify in detail what you were doing. Use this more! Similarly, know what you value: family, honesty, health, adventure, safety, etc. Living in integrity with these will automatically feel better than compromising your values.
8. Nurture relationships.
We are social beings. Connect with others on a regular basis. Invest time and affection in our personal relationships, get to know people well and share ourselves fully with others. For most of us, there is simply nothing more rewarding than our deep friendships and intimate relationships. Make them a priority, don’t take anyone for granted.