I’m not a parent, but I’ve always been interested in what separates the good guys from the bad. There is no single factor, of course. Love is important but you don’t have to look far to see that it’s not enough.
Love is expressed in many ways. Some are healthy and some are not.
What else than love makes someone an amazing mother or father?
Once again, there is still more than one ingredient. The stew that is the father-son relationship is rich, complex, and nourishing.
However, there is one thing that all good parents seem to have.
It’s something that can enhance any relationship and seems especially important with children.
This magical spice is a quality that, when you embrace it, makes everything you do better and easier.
The miracle ingredient is patience.
Everyone knows that children are tiring and annoying. People who love their children seem to say this more than anyone else. And it’s true. They are loud, messy, ungrateful and unreasonable.
That is part of its charm. It’s also a lot of stress.
If an adult wants to go to the park and you offer to drive them, they will appreciate it. A child may run around the house screaming with delight and then throw a tantrum when you tell him to put his shoes on so you can go.
How do you reason with that? Add a little sleep deprivation to the mix, and after the first ten hours, this is no fun anymore.
Nobody would blame you for feeling exhausted.
The superhero parents among us remain patient through it all.
They remain calm, do not give up and never take the easy way out.
How many moments do you wish you could redo because you lost your patience?
There’s a reason they call it a virtue. It’s one of those foundational skills that make everything else easier.
And, like many skills, self-hypnosis is the key to mastering it quickly. The act of learning self-hypnosis develops your patience. Train your mind to hold your attention and stay in the moment.
Once you are in a trance, you can take this further. The more you keep your mind on task, the more patient you will become.
Impatience only arises in two situations: when you think about how long you have been doing something, or when you look forward to something in the future. You can’t be more than patient in the moment. Train your mind to see each moment as a new experience.
This is how children see the world. That is why they can play the same game or watch the same movie over and over again. They don’t insist on the fact that they have seen it, because every time they pass by they add something new.
There is wisdom in this outlook on life. So don’t fight with your children about this, join them. See your moment as if it were the first time. It’s easy to be patient when you’re fascinated by wonder.