After ten years and 400 weddings as a catering manager / wedding coordinator for an exclusive, high-end resort, I have compiled a list of the questions that you, your family, and your fiancé should ask at the facility when you book your wedding. Just listen to the wedding “Dear Abby” and you will have the day of your dreams.
Now brides and grooms, I know you are still enjoying the glow of your romantic engagement, and of course you should be and CONGRATULATIONS. You are ready to start your life together.
It is a daunting task to decide where to have the wedding, what color scheme you will have, who to stand with you, what food to eat, but the most important thing to remember is this: IT IS YOUR WEDDING DAY, ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT DAYS OF YOUR LIVES . Once the catering location is chosen, the money is paid, the dresses are adjusted, the flowers are chosen, the programs are printed, remember to enjoy it, hold hands, kiss all day, dance with each other, look at each other. eyes and if a hair is out of place, SO WHAT. You are in love and bonding your lives for the rest of this time on Earth, so take action, love each other and you will have the best day and your guests too. After all, LIFE IS ALL ABOUT LOVE.
With that said, I have a list of questions to ask the facility manager when touring the site, BEFORE SIGNING A CONTRACT.
COORDINATING:
Who will be on site on the wedding day supervising all the details that you have so carefully planned with the facilities. As a catering manager, I worked with the couple and the family from day one to the last. Once the “proverbial dotted line” was signed, I was always available to answer questions, conduct menu tastings, rehearsals, and worked directly with the staff throughout the day and night of the wedding. You want to be sure that you don’t have to put in your own place cards while setting up your makeup.
CEREMONY:
I did not meet a bride of 400, who did not dream of an outdoor wedding in a field, by a lake, near a stream, and I agree that it is beautiful and romantic. HOWEVER, when planning an outdoor ceremony, make sure you have a backup plan that you and your fiancé will like. All brides swear it won’t rain on their wedding day, but guess what? It could, so be sure to ask the site administrator to show you the location of “plan b” and if you’re not happy with that, make other arrangements. Every town or city has a long list of churches in every denomination (some nondenominational). If you don’t like the backup option on your wedding site, I suggest you reserve a church. You will be relieved that you did.
FOOD:
For some, food is one of the most important parts of the big day. If this is the case, be sure to sit down with the site administrator to carefully review the menu and packages they offer. There are usually levels to select from and there is often a big difference in menu items. Before you go in, decide what is important to you in terms of food, this will help you reduce the time you spend reading the menus because you will already have an idea of where you are going. Ask if they offer complimentary menu tastings. Most good catering establishments will do this once you have signed a contract with them.
PUB:
I know, I know, this is one of the greats. Again, make a list of alcohol, wine, sparkling wine that is important to you and your family. Now please know that you will never ever please the 200 guests at your wedding, so don’t go crazy trying to guess what Aunt Mary likes to eat or drink from her third cousin. If you choose the food and drink that you and your partner love, you will please 95% of your guests.
Most packages come with a certain number of open bar hours. Just be clear on what that is and how much it will be per person per hour to add to your package if you decide to do so. Ask if there is a champagne toast and what kind of sparkling wine (most use) they have and if you can taste it.
STAFFING:
Ask how many servers per guest is standard practice in installation. A decent industry standard is 1 server for every 20 guests. That’s only an average of 2 tables per server, which is good. You also want to know if there will be a dedicated main server for the main table. You want to feel like you are receiving the royal treatment on this important day. A good main server will make sure to be attentive to all of your needs during the reception / dinner and will make sure that you are both eating and drinking. You should never have to wish for anything. Ask if there will be a banquet captain or maitre d ‘in charge of the staff.
TIPS:
This is a sensitive but essential area to address. Read your contract to find out if there is an automatic tip added to your base bill total. Typically this is divided among all staff. Banquet staff are paid a very small hourly rate before tip is added. The industry standard is currently 18%. Ask the site administrator for their cash tip policy. The site manager, banquet captain, and main server should, at a minimum, be tipped based on the level of service provided. Never assume that the site administrator or chief captain earns a huge salary, as this is rarely the case. They work very hard to ensure you have a perfect day and they will appreciate it very much if you recognize them for it.
VALET PARKING:
Depending on the location, there are usually bell or valet staff on duty. Ask if there is a charge for valet parking, and if there is, you may want to pay upfront so your guests don’t incur this cost. You can estimate the number of cars that will attend. It’s one thing your guests will appreciate. They can certainly tip the valet too if they wish. You can include that valet service is available and there is no charge on your information letter or response card.
ACCOMMODATIONS:
Today, most couples choose locations outside of their home area for their special weekend. For example, the bride is from Florida, the groom is from New York, so they both choose Pennsylvania to host the wedding. In that case, you will need to provide various accommodation options in the area. On your save the date cards and / or invitations, include a card that lists those options. If the location of the wedding venue is a resort, reserve a room block with them. Try to negotiate a “special” wedding rate, and be sure to give your guests plenty of time to reserve the room. Ask the site administrator if a complimentary wedding night suite is included for you and your fiancé.
BREAKFAST AFTER THE WEDDING:
When you have chosen a venue out of town and your guests have traveled a distance to share your special weekend, it is considered on your part to plan a breakfast the morning after the wedding. Ask the site manager if there is a room you can reserve to do so and ask to see it. Ask what the menu options are. You want to be sure that it is a private room. It is often a very affordable addition to the weekend, and you and your families will be very happy to see your guests before setting off on your honeymoon trip. A good time to have breakfast is between 9:00 am and 11:00 am, with a duration of 2 hours. This is early enough for older guests who want their coffee early and late enough for younger guests who want to sleep in late.
LIST OF QUALIFIED SELLERS:
You and your loved one may not have planned a wedding before and don’t know where to start looking for suppliers. By salespeople, I mean photographers, musicians, florists, makeup artists, etc. If you’re a good site manager, you’ve probably worked with hundreds of them during your career. What better source do you have than here? Often times the site will have compiled a list of these providers so you can get started. Please understand that these are mostly suggestions only and that the site cannot or should not take responsibility for suggesting providers. When choosing a supplier, be sure to interview them, see or hear their work, get references, and ask your best source, the catering manager you are working with. You will be happy you did, and if someone gives a negative reaction to any provider, it is probably true, so do it if you can.
It is very satisfying to be able to share the knowledge that I have gained in my ten years helping 400 couples make their dreams of a perfect wedding come true. Using my list of questions, bringing some insight to your site tours, and reading your contract carefully will help you have a wonderful day. Take my advice, do all your planning ahead of time, use the best sources, those with business experience, assign tasks to your assistant staff, and then JUST ENJOY THE DAY. Don’t worry about the little things, let qualified personnel take care of it. If they are a good staff, you will never know or care if something goes wrong.