Everyone tends to focus on finding that set of “magic” words that they can text to win back an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, but knowing what not to text your ex is just as important. There are many different ways to say the right things, but a single slip when saying the wrong thing can end the course of the relationship forever.
This article briefly explores 5 examples of what not to text your ex after a breakup. Avoid saying the things below and you will be more successful in getting your ex back.
1.) The Overzealous Apology
The first type of bad text message is one that I like to call “excuse me too enthusiastic.” It occurs when you repeatedly and unnecessarily apologize for things you did wrong in the relationship.
So should you apologize if you know you were wrong? Of course.
Should you apologize over and over again thinking that the next “I’m sorry” will magically make your ex want to be with you again? Absolutely not.
You can’t erase the past, so make a sincere apology once and then stop apologizing for the same things over and over again. It makes you look needy and desperate.
Here’s an example of an overzealous apology text message: “I’m so sorry. What can I do to make it up to you? I’m so sorry I hurt you. It will never happen again.”
2.) The text of supplication and supplication
Pleading and pleading text is another example of what not to text your ex after a breakup. If you’ve been asking your ex for a second chance, chances are you’ve been using some kind of plea or plea text. These texts cry out for insecurity and need.
For example: “Please give me another chance. I will do anything. Tell me what you want me to do and I will do it.”
3.) The profession of despair
The profession of despair is a text message that you normally send when you are in panic mode and feel like you have to act fast so you don’t lose your ex forever. It’s usually a last-ditch effort to say something super romantic or profess your undying love to get your ex to change his mind.
Example: “I love you so much! To me you mean the absolute world. I can’t bear the idea that you are with someone else. This can’t end. I will die without you.”
4.) The text “It goes nowhere and does nothing”
What I refer to as “going nowhere and doing nothing” texts is what author Michael Fiore refers to in his text messaging guide, Text Your Ex Back, as texts with nothing.
These types of texts aren’t bad in the sense of making you seem needy and desperate, but they usually don’t take the conversation anywhere and leave no curiosity or hooks for a positive response from your ex. They tend to create an awkward “where do we go from here?” Moment.
You’ll be surprised sending these types of text messages when you really don’t know what to say, but feel like you need to get in touch with your ex to feel better. You may be testing the waters to see if your ex will actually respond to your text, but it is better to send nothing at all than to text with nothing.
Examples: “Hello!”, “Me!”, “What’s wrong?”
5.) The repeat offender
The repeat offender happens every time you start texting your ex wondering why he hasn’t responded to the first text you sent him. When it comes to using text messages to get your ex back, you should never send these types of messages if your ex does not respond to you. It will make them feel pressured and / or cornered, and they will withdraw even further from you.
Example: “I have sent you about 3 text messages. Did you receive them? Why don’t you reply to me?” or “You must be busy. You won’t answer me.”