Your husband wants more freedom. You can hardly believe what you are hearing when he tells you this. After all, wasn’t giving up “freedom” to him part of the deal when you two walked down the aisle and took your vows? There is much room for misunderstanding when a man tells his wife that he wants more space or time for himself. He must be clear about exactly what he wants and then he must come up with a plan to save his marriage. Ignoring this is not the way to go if he hopes to keep your relationship together.
Before you can do anything to rectify the situation, you must gain a clearer understanding of why your husband wants more freedom. If she tells you that he feels stifled within the relationship, that’s obviously a cause for great concern. Her definition of freedom may actually be a separation and then eventual divorce.
On the other hand, often when many say they need freedom, they are simply referring to the fact that they want more time to pursue their own hobbies or interests. It could be something as simple as going out with your friends a couple of times a month or going fishing once in a while.
Sit down with your husband and talk about how he feels and what he hopes to achieve by having more freedom or space. Obviously, this won’t be an easy conversation for the two of you, but it’s an important one. You need to get an idea of how you feel and how you see your marriage going forward.
If it’s simply that he wants more time to himself, accept that. Many couples who have interests outside of marriage find that they get along better and are closer. If he has hobbies that he has put aside to spend more time with you and the kids, encourage him to get back into them. You should do the same. Not only does it give you something else to focus on, but you’ll have more to share when you talk to each other.
Obviously, it’s a much different story if his idea of freedom is a separation so he can live his own life apart from you and your family. If that’s what’s happening, you need to decide if giving him the chance to live his life without you is something you’re willing to do. It is terrifying when a husband says that he wants some time to himself, but very often that time will actually be the trigger to help him see what he is at risk of losing.
Work with your husband to find a middle ground and get back to talking. Her marriage wasn’t built overnight, so she didn’t let it fall apart into a million pieces in the blink of an eye.