Has any of these situations happened to you? Forgetting your customer’s name, inadvertently insulting a coworker, spilling coffee on your boss, not recognizing an old friend, drinking too much at the company party, sending a spicy email to the wrong person, or asking the date giving birth to a woman when she is not pregnant – alas! You never get a second chance to make a first impression, so what happens when that first impression is negative?
In a perfect world, none of these things would happen, but the truth is that we all make mistakes. Effective communicators are not only aware of how their actions impact others; they also know how to respond in awkward situations. If handled properly, flaws can serve to strengthen your image and help you earn respect. If you’ve made a social misstep, here’s how you can bounce back.
Apologize immediately. Timing is of the essence when it comes to controlling image damage. As soon as you realize that you may have offended someone, address the issue. The more time passes, the more disproportionate the story can be. While first impressions hold, so do last. Take control of the situation by making your last impression a positive and sincere apology.
Avoid excessive apologies. Saying you’re sorry is important, but overdoing it can create another awkward situation. First, your goal in apologizing is to acknowledge your mistake and reposition yourself as responsible and sensitive. If you repeatedly bring up the past, humbling yourself and begging for forgiveness, you are defeating your purpose. Second, it puts the other person in the awkward position of constantly having to reassure you. Eventually, that person may choose to avoid you altogether.
Don’t make assumptions. It is easy to assume that others think the worst of you, but usually what we imagine is much worse than reality. Approach your apology by acknowledging your feelings rather than telling others how you suppose they feel. This gives you the opportunity to test your perceptions and control the situation. So instead of starting with, “You must think I’m a total jerk …” speak for yourself, “It bothers me how I behaved yesterday because I realized I might have offended you. Did you feel the same way? ? “Starting this way also avoids excessive apologies because the other person may think it’s no big deal.
To be honest. Regardless of the circumstances, a sincere apology requires three steps. First, fully acknowledge what happened without blaming other people or circumstances. Second, acknowledge how your actions affected the other person, which means listening without defending yourself. Third, commit to what you will do differently in the future to avoid making the same mistake. Such an apology might sound like, “I want to apologize for what I said yesterday. After talking to you, I can hear how much my comments offended you and caused you embarrassment. I want you to know that I will be more sensitive in the future.” . “
Works of humor. Depending on the situation, a little self-deprecating humor can save you. Make sure it is directed only at you and does not increase anyone else’s level of discomfort. Sometimes calling him what you see him in the moment breaks the tension and gives him a chance to heal. However, be careful not to indulge yourself. Too much self-deprecation can have the same effect as over-apologizing.
Monitor future behavior. Communication has a cumulative effect, so each impression you make builds on the one before it. Overcoming a bad impression requires that all future behavior be consistent with how you want to be perceived. It will take time and confidence to change perceptions, but it can be done!