A failed marriage can seem like it’s headed for divorce with an initial speed like a runaway locomotive with broken brakes and a coupled rocket to boot. How to stop a divorce in these circumstances seems like an unstoppable task and no matter how much you try the same arguments, the same grievances keep coming back. Outbursts of anger, raised voices, things smashing on the ground or flying through the air, or maybe just an icy silence that can break your heart in two.
So how can you stop the runaway train of divorce, and how can you do it when you feel like you’re the only one trying? The truth is that it will not be easy, it will involve a level of commitment that you will have to give 100% and it will involve a lot of emotional pain that may seem like the last thing you want right now but if a happy ending is your goal and you are prepared to achieve it, there is a technique that will start you on the path to preventing divorce.
Stop arguing! Stop trying to win! Stop being logical! Stop keeping score!
In other words… lose and not fight back.
Oh huh? No one likes to lose, no one likes to be accused of things they’re not guilty of, and no one likes to be attacked without a chance to retaliate, but what are you really trying to do here? Prove that you know what’s best or save your marriage?
How to stop a divorce starts with how to stop anger and resentment and the first and best way to do this is to reach a level of calm and acceptance and let your spouse get mad at you because that is not the real problem. When they realize you’re not fighting back, 99% of the time they’ll calm down and even apologize. Only then, once the situation calms down and the anger is largely gone, can you begin the next steps on how to stop a divorce.