Once women become mothers, their need for new types of friendships is extremely important. Ongoing friendships with married and single female friends with no children are still important to moms, but now they need moms to “bond” with on parenting topics, like parenting, balancing work and motherhood, being a mom from home and the impact of your ties with your children on your relationship with your spouse/partner.
Mothers have less time to spend with friends due to their exciting but also hectic and time-consuming obligations of being a mother, so they have to choose who to associate with during their limited social opportunities. Although they may care about and value their long-term friendships, they may have less in common with those friends, and may also choose to be around mothers who “get” them rather than spend time with friends they can’t fully relate to. this new stage of their lives. Also, your childless friends may get bored hearing about breastfeeding, parenting, etc. So the weakening of ties with such friends could be mutual.
Whether it’s a mommy and me group, playdates at a park (when moms can chat while kids play), mommy-to-mommy friendships are critical to sanity, sharing, and support. Parents often connect with moms who have children the same age, because each stage of motherhood brings with it new and unique challenges. For example, when one mom is focused on breastfeeding, another mom may be focused on the challenges of elementary school. In order to meet moms with children roughly the same age, parenting or mommy-and-me groups (eg, an exceptional one run by Betsy Braun Brown in Pacific Palisades; parentingpathways.com) provide moms with opportunities to bond, share similar problems, learn from each other (and the group leader), and a lasting friendship begins. There are support groups like the Mommy’s Club of Los Angeles, where moms can connect by participating in various activities with their kids (for example, going to a museum) and also have “mommy nights out.” Whether through mommy and me or playgroups, mothers benefit from communicating their feelings, ideas, questions, and advice to other mothers.